What are the Indicators of Rapport?

Rapport is an important process where you create trust and responsiveness to your communication. Rapport is commonly used in business including sales, education and also coaching.

How do you know when you have created or established rapport? Firstly, you have a warm feeling inside which is normally in the centre of the body. This feeling can also be one of nervousness of even ‘butterflies’ in the stomach.

Secondly, there is a colour change which will start from the neck up and can also stretch to the face of the other person. On some occasions, you may feel the colour change and even a blushing in your own face and then the other person. Normally the colour change will occur with a minute of the warm feeling inside.

Thirdly, is when the other person has a sense of knowing you from their past. For example, they may say to you “Did we go to university together?” or “Did we work together previously?” This indicator is all about a feeling of being at home.

The last indicator of rapport is related to the concept of pacing and leading. In Neuro Linguistic Programming (or NLP) pacing occurs when you are matching and mirroring someone, and after that there is leading. For example, you crossed your left leg over your right to match the same movements of the other person. When the other person feels they are in rapport, they will be likely to want to shift their position when you do. So if you decided to uncross your legs and you move your position in the chair and then the other person followed then you have paced and lead the person into a new position. The leading part is another indicator of rapport. All these indicators can be experience in yourself and/or the other person you are communicating with.  

Remember, rapport is the process of building a relationship based on trust, harmony and understanding. It is about meeting the other person in their model of the world. Rapport is important in any relationship and is useful for when you have issues to be discussed and can assist you in preventing issues from developing into complaints and problems. Next time you are in rapport with someone, notice the feelings, colour change, the feeling of being at home and the pacing and leading.